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(during a game of Scrabble)
Allen: What are you doing, Lee? That's not a word.
Lee: Yes it is. H-A-R-P. Harp.
Allen: That says "H-R-A-P."

"What's the matter, Lee? You don't like getting your muffler cleaned?"

Evan

Evan: Hey, guys...my friend Wayne...
Hurl: Shut the fuck up Evan.

(While Will is telling a stupid story about roller coasters)
Evan: Anyone want to go to McDonald's?
Brett: They're closed.
Evan: I know, but anything's better than being here.

Will: Give me a piece of paper and I'll show you how to write shorthand.
Evan: I don't fucking care.

Some little annoying kid: One day that's gonna pop, and you're gonna shit your pants.
Evan: I'll make you shit your pants.

"I'm gonna read the hell outta this book."

Ken

"Look at my big beautiful ass!"

Lee

"I...like...men."

Lee

"I need to get my butt-fucking brain straight."

Lee

"I can toss salad."

Miles

Ken (referring to the scratches on Noe's arm): Ah ha, your cat fucked you up!
Noe (pointing at Rachelle): Actually it was her.

"Well, if Vegeta sucks [webmaster's note: Vegeta does not suck] then I know I'm not cool."

Noe

"[webmaster's note: It is impossible to create the full effect of this unless you were there] (in a gay, lispy tone) Because I say so!"

Noe

Hooman: You can go get your drink.
Lee: I would like a Sprite with no ice.
Hooman: Carry your ass over there...and get your drink.

"Lee wrestles? Damn! He must be heavy weight!"

Hooman

(directed to Ken) "You mess up my menus again, you're going back to McDonald's."

Hooman